A_E: Hi, and welcome back to MSLT3K.
Matt: We're happy.
DOS: You should be too!
A_E: Anyway, let's start with Chapter 2 of Black Tuesday.

II

Matt: II! That's looks cool!
A_E: How about III? Or IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
Matt: Cool! It looks like a ladder!

Bug

DOS: Eww! Icky icky bugs!

     The huge energy shield suddenly lit up

Matt: It's Christmas!

around the Principle Office as Central Patrol Units emerged from their subsystem.

A_E: (CPU Guy) Come on people! We must emerge from our subsystem! Whatever that means!

  They quickly moved in on the melting Game Cube,

Matt: Oh what a world.... I'm melting....

firing a continuous stream of energy at it to keep it stable.

A_E: (CPU Guy) This isn't working! Shooting at it is supposed to make it better!

  It slowly began to regain its shape as the vortex in the sky opened up again.  A few nanos later, the cube departed through the swirling void and all was back to normal.

DOS: Excuse me, a lot of things exploded and stuff.

     _Mostly normal_, Coretney thought dismally, scanning the error messages.

DOS: Told ya!

The function they were installing was toast, as were five others in the general vicinity.  She was horrified; over two hundred and sixty binomes were reported as deleted or nullified.

A_E: Oooh...

  It seemed that all of this had happened because that Guardian had done something that made the Game perform an illegal function call.

DOS: Idiot!

     He was really starting to get on her processors.

Matt: Man. He should have taken more classes on calculator Games.

     Stephan looked up, dazed.  He got the distinct impression that that wasn't the way the Game was supposed to end. 

Matt: That's for sure.

He got to his feet and looked around.  The sector wasn't nullified; at least there was that.  However, there were a lot of CPU's darting around.

A_E: And then one hit his head.

    "It's okay!"  he called up to them, waving his arms.  "I'm all right! I took care of it!"
     After a couple of nanos, it became obvious that they weren't doing this for his benefit, so he stopped.

Matt: No, they're doing this to hit his head.

  Then he began to wonder what was going on and realized that they might need his help.  _We don't need a Guardian around
here, huh?_ he thought with a smile.  "Falcon: zip board."

DOS: Excuse me, you nearly crashed the Game!

     He stepped onto the zip board and flew off in the direction that all the CPU's were headed.  Suddenly, a vid window opened up right in front of him and he crashed into it, nearly falling off. 

DOS: They do hate his head.

When he regained his bearings, he found himself looking at the very unhappy face of the Core Keeper.

DOS: (Coretney) YOU BASIC SPRITE! HOW THE HECK COULD YOU DO THAT? I MEAN IT'S ONE HTING YOU'RE TRYING TO KILL US ALL, BUT THIS!!!!!
Matt: Calm down DOS!

     "Hello Guardian," she said.  "Can we. . . chat for a nano?"

A_E: No! I'm off to the save the system! I'm.... GUARDIAN MAN! (do doo doooooo)

     "Sure, what's up?" Stephan said with a friendly smile.  "Viral infection? Null uprising?"

Matt: Me crashing a Game and almost deleting everyone?

     "Actually," Coretney said, refering to a note pad, "About five functions and two hundred binomes just went off-line thanks to your trans-finite stupidity,

Matt: Ha! That's a good phrase!
A_E: Matt, you have trans-finite stupidity.
Matt: Ha! You called me that! AH AH HA HAH HA!

and I was wondering just exactly what you did in that Game back there."

DOS: (Stephan) I crashed it!

     Stephan blinked, confused.  "I won the Game," he explained, thinking it would be obvious.

A_E: No.

     "You caused a run-time error that nearly made the thing crash and wipe us all!" Coretney corrected irately.

A_E: Yes. Matt, care to know what irately is
Matt: No.
A_E: Okay.

     "Hey, all I did was close that window so the User couldn't fill in any more of those little squares," Stephan said defensively.

A_E: Hey, all you did was DELETE MY FAVORITE GAME! I *sob* LOVE Minesweeper!

     Coretney glared at him incredulously.  "Why in the Net would you want to do something like _that_?"

Matt: (Stephan) To annoy you!

     "To win the Game and keep the sector from being nullified," Stephan explained, wondering why the Core Keeper didn't know any of this stuff.

A_E: Look Stephan, you're the one who doesn't know any of this stuff.

     "It wouldn't have _been_ nullified!"  the Keeper explained, surprised at how low-density this guy was.  "That was a puzzle Game!"

A_E: I knew that.

     Stephan blinked, confused.  "Puzzle Game?"
     "Yes, a puzzle Game!" Coretney fumed. 

DOS: She's mad.

"There's no win or loss condition. It just keeps going until the User gets sick of it and leaves."

Matt: Stephan is very basic.

     "So why were all the binomes running away from it?" the Guardian asked.

DOS: For those who (eyes A_E) don't like it, it is really boring.

     "Would _you_ want to be stuck in a puzzle Game for who knows how long if you didn't have to be?" Coretney asked.  "In case you haven't noticed, this is a rather small system.  It doesn't have the capacity for anything
larger than puzzle Games."

A_E: Yeah! Hey, how come I know this, and he's a Guardian?
Matt: The transfer must have knocked out some data.

     "Well how was _I_ supposed to know that?" Stephan demanded.

All: YOU'RE A GUARDIAN!

     "Maybe if you'd _talked_ to me instead of running off and getting into trouble," the Keeper hinted.

DOS: Hey, you said he could look around.

     Stephan looked away guiltily.  He _had_ been a bit anxious about getting out and exploring; it hadn't occured to him to ask about the differences between his system and a graphics calculator.  Maybe it should have. 

All: DUH!

"So, uh. . . is there anything I can do?"  he queried.

All: DUH!

     "Just come down to the Principle Office," Coretney said.

All: DUH!
Matt: Okay, this is getting annoying.

     When Stephan stepped into the Office, Coretney was sitting behind her desktop, arms folded, waiting for him.

DOS: (Coretney) Idiot.

     "So," she said, somewhat bitterly, "Are you convinced that there's no viral infection in the system?  No weird code monsters?  No huge conspiracy to overthrow your system?"

Matt: (Stephan)No! I must destory this entire system before I am satisfied!

     "Umm, yes," Stephan said.  "I, uh. . . I suppose you want me to go now."

DOS: (Coretney) OUT! O-W-T OUT!

     "Yes, yes I do," Coretney confirmed.  "However, there's a slight problem."
     "What's that?" the Guardian asked.

Matt: WAZZAT?

     "The linkway is only open temporarily for random periods of time," Coretney explained.  "And while you were off playing that Game, it closed."

A_E: Ooh, right in the face!

     Stephan's eyes went wide.  "You mean I'm. . . ?"

DOS: (Stephan) An idiot?

     "Stuck here?" Coretney concluded.  "Yes, Mr. Guardian, I'm afraid you are."

Matt: Guardian. Mr. Guardian.

     "Wuh. . what am I supposed to do?" Stephan asked, panicked.

DOS: Sit, wait, do functions.

     Coretney smiled.  "Well, I was thinking that, as long as you're going to be on my system, you might as well make yourself useful." 

A_E: But how?

She opened a notepad and handed it to him.  "We've got two new functions that we're
installing, and they're going to need to be staffed.  Considering that we had quite a few casualties from your little escapade, well, every little bit helps."

A_E: I want to staff them! WAAAAAA!

     Stephan looked at the specs on the notepad and blinked.  "You want me to work in a _function_?" he asked incredulously.

All: DUH!

     "Yes, yes I do," Coretney said with a smile.  She'd known the linkway would be broken soon when he'd first arrived.  She didn't tell him because she thought it would serve him right to be reduced to a number-crunching subroutine.

Matt: LOSER!

     "But. . . but I'm a Guardian!" Stephan protested.

DOS: No.

     "No you're not," Coretney reminded him, "And you've got to stop thinking like you are one.  You switched formats when you transfered in, remember?"

A_E: Probably not, considering how he's been so basic.

     Ouch.  That hit home.  "So what _am_ I?" Stephan asked.

DOS: Stephan.

     "A graphic," Coretney explained.  "Sort of a primitive sprite.  We have a lot of the same functions as a sprite, but we're far more limited. 

Matt: A galaxy far far away...

Mostly it has to do with appearances; we can't change our looks outside of Games. Then there's the memory parameters and all that stuff. 

A_E: Oh, that's hwy he's been so basic! Bad memory!

For most second to second purposes, you won't notice any difference at all."

Matt: That's good.

     Stephan considered his position gloomily. 

Matt: Or not.

Here he was, trapped on an alien system with none of his Guardian formatting to help him and nothing to do but crunch numbers until the day he's deleted.

Matt: HA HA HA! That's funny! HA HA HA!

     "So," he said with bleak resign, "When do I start?"

DOS: (Coretney) Now, so pack and bags and go now or else I'll delete you.

     "Well," Coretney said thoughtfully, "Before we can install the new functions, we have to clean up that mess you made.  You can help with cleanup detail if you promise not to get into trouble."

A_E: That's like being a garbage sprite.
Matt: I pity them. Garbage in, garbage out. GIGO!

     "Yes ma'am," Stephan sighed, leaving the Principle Office to start his new program as a graphic.  Coretney smiled.  Seeing him in submission was the one silver lining of her second.

DOS: She loves him.
A_E and Matt: WHAT?

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Matt: Look at the dashes! OOOOOOOOO! I want them!
A_E: Get your own.
DOS: Please.
Matt: Okay! (goes to a store)
A_E: No, not really!
Matt: Look at all my dashes!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A_E: That's quite a lot. How'd you pay for it?
Matt: They were FREE!
DOS: Can we get back to the story?
Matt: Yes ma'am! I'm gonna put some of my dashes in the story!

     Coretney put Gooi down for his nap. 

Matt: That needs dashes.

     Co-retney p-ut -Gooi -down fo-r hi-s nap-.

A_E: That doesn't even look right!

The little creature sighed contentedly as she turned out the lights. 

DOS: (Gooi) *sigh*
A_E: How can Gigapets sigh?

With the errors cleared and the installations complete, she found herself with a free nano.

DOS: What bliss.

     Wait.  Not quite free.

Matt: Dashes!

     W-a-i-t.  No-t q-uite- f-ree-.

Matt: Cool!

  There was still that one file that needed to be compiled. 

DOS: DANG! CAN'T AGIRL GET SOME QUIET TIME?

With a sigh, she went over to the compiler and got it going.  While it warmed up, she went to get herself an energy shake from the diner across the street.

A_E: Bad idea #58: Never leave a un-compiled file by itself when you're compiling it, especially when you are a system that doesn't search for viruses.

     While she was away, the file began to crystalize back into its normal state.  It compiled much more quickly than it had the first time and it was flushed into the containment field.

A_E: Bad sign #485: When a file compiles much more quickly a second time, you are in trouble. Something is alive in there.

     Gooi heard a noise, rousing him from sleep.  Across the room, he could see something in the containment field.  Curiously, the little giga got up and went in for a better look.

DOS: (Gooi) Look! It's a giant Class 10 virus!

     It was some sort of winged insect-like creature that was buzzing loudly and banging itself against the sides of the containment field in an attempt to break out. 

Matt: The tiger is caged, but it is mad and wants to get out so you can't walk the forest freely.
A_E: Okay...

Gooi knew that the field would hold it, but he got an uneasy feeling watching the bizarre thing.  He began to think that he should maybe hit the dump command and delete the thing, but Coretney always scolded him for playing with the Principle Office equipment. 

A_E: Do it! Don't mind her! DO IT!

He wished she would come back soon.

A_E: Bad idea #-
Matt: Dashes!
A_E: No! No more dashes! (he throws them away)
Matt: Nutbunnies!

     The bug stopped its useless assaults and considered its surroundings. It flew up to the cable leading to the CPU. 

Matt: Uh-oh.

It had a block on it to keep unwanted files out. 

Matt: Phew.

The bug snorted its contempt for such BASIC devices and touched the block with its beak. 

Matt: Um....

A hole developed in the block which quickly grew until it was big enough. 

Matt: Uh-oh.... I'm scared! (he runs off)
A_E: Oh great, the story scared him away.

Then the bug zipped through it into the CPU.

DOS: What can a bug do?

     Gooi yelped in surprise.  He was sure that this was no good.  He had to warn Coretney.  Gooi hopped through the giga door and ran off, looking for Coretney.

DOS: As Bob would say, this is bad, this is very bad. OH BOB! WHY CAN'T YOU BE HERE?

     A small vortex opened in the sky.  It was so small, in fact, that no one in Black Tuesday noticed it. 

A_E: Except for one sprite..... who was in a file lock in which he could just move his eyes.

Through it came the little bug.  It buzzed happily at the exhiliration.  At last, it was free! 

Matt: I'm back!
A_E: That's good.
Matt: (bug) I'm free! I'm free! WOOO WA HOOO HOO HAAA!

When it got that out of its system, it did a quick scan of the system and found the Core Keeper at a small diner.

Matt: ...eating stuff. Hey, I got some new characters!
DOS: Huh?

  It switched to intercept mode and made a beeline for Coretney.

Matt: Let me fix that up...

  zIt switched to interpret mode and made a sealine for Coretney878262.?!

A_E: User save us....

The only thought in its tiny processor was to reach the Keeper and infect her.

Matt: (bug) I am bad. Very bad.
DOS: Bob, why isn't he here?

     Deep in the bowels of "Newton's Zeroes", Stephan was

A_E: Making trouble!

sipping an energy shake when a horn blew, signalling the end of downtime. 

Matt: Oh kay, laddies, time ta get back to work.

He slid his swivel chair across the room to the abacus, where an equation had already come down the input stream.  He plucked it out and examined it.  "X^3+2X-3" 

A_E: How do you find the solution to that?

He stuck it up on the wall and loosened his digits like a pianist preparing to play a concerto. 

Matt: I'll sing to it! MODAT MANANA CO LA SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
DOS: Shut up!

His digits flew gracefully across the board of toggle switches as he calculated the answer.  This one had only one real zero, fortunately;  the Complex complex took care of all the imaginary solutions. 

A_E: That's no fun.

Satisfied with the calculation, he wrote the answer, "X=1" on a notepad and sent it down the output stream.

A_E: X=1, which would mean....

     "Good job, kid," said a voice from behind him.  It was his manager, the One binome Newton.  "You'll probably be on complex solutions by the end of the minute."

DOS: (Stephan) I wanna go back to 2+2!

     "Thanks," Stephan said half-heartedly.  Alas, not even the prospect of being promoted to the imaginary number division could make him feel better.

Matt: Nothing could, except for smoothies.

The tedious, repetitive work hadn't dampened the loss of his native system or all of his friends very well.

DOS: I'd like to see what his friends think of this basic idiot.

     Suddenly the System Voice announced, "Warning.  Incoming Game.  Warning."

Matt: (Stephan) It's GUARDIAN MAN to the rescue!

     Stephan looked up instinctively, but then relaxed right away. 

Matt: (Stephan) Or NOT!

It would take him a while to get used to ignoring Game warnings.  He plugged away at the abacus again, working on the next equation.

A_E: Tra, la la. All is fine.

     Suddenly, Newton interupted him.  "Hey, kid," he said, sounding disturbed.  "Come look at this."

Matt: (Stephan) Or NOT!

     Coretney had decided to finish her shake at the outdoor diner;  the compiler could go by itself for a while, and besides, she'd only disturb Gooi.

Matt: But, little did she know that a Game was coming down that was different, and that there was a bug on the loose!

She was halfway through her shake when the System Voice announced the in-coming Game.  After living in Black Tuesday for a few days, she barely even noticed it.  That is, until the sky went dark.  Then she looked up.  And her knees went weak.

A_E: What kind of diesase is that?

     The entire sky had opened up from horizon to horizon. 

Matt: Hey! I forgot about my characters!
DOS: I was hoping you would forever.

     Ze entire zky had opened up from horizon to horizon. 

From the dark void emerged a huge, black, swirling mass.  It could barely be described as a cube;  it looked more like the sky had turned black and was slowly closing in on them. 

DOS: (Chicken Little) The sky is falling!

In all her seconds, Coretney had never seen anything like it.
     "Warning," the System Voice announced in its condescendingly calm voice. "In-coming Game."

Matt: Oh, I'm so calm, even though you all might die. Tra la la.

     _Yes, we figured that out,_ Coretney thought.  She tried telling herself that it was just a Game not unlike any other Game that came into Black Tuesday, but she knew better.

A_E: What is it though?

     This was _bad_.

DOS: Stop copying Bob! I can't feel, the pa... pa.... pain. . . (she faints)
Matt: DOS! You can't go out like this man! You're the teenage girl! You bring hipness to the MiSTing! You can't man, ya just can't! No! Don't delete! Don't delete!

     It was then that Gooi came running up in a frenzy.

A_E: Is DOS okay?
Matt: You can't, man!

     "Gooi!" she scolded.  "You're supposed to be taking a nap!"

Matt: You just can't...

     The giga yipped urgently and started tugging at her pants.

Matt: You... ju.. just... c.... an't.... (he faints too)
A_E: Oh User! (he whips out a gas mask and other scientific tools) Ha! The air has Carbon Monoxide. Deadly. Unless in very small amounts, then it's bye-bye black sheep. Um, okay then. Back to the fic.

     "Look," she said, casting an apprehensive glance at the descending cube. "It's just a Game.  It's not going to hurt us."

A_E: Game? Oh right, that Game.

WARNING. INCOMING GAME.

A_E: Uh-oh! It seems the User has downloaded a Game while we're MiSTing! (consults watch) Well, we are late...

WARNING. INCOMING GAME.

A_E: It's on the theatre! Uh-oh! Heads up!

     Gooi whined pitifully.
     "Oh, now don't give me that," the Core Keeper said.
     The giga yipped one more time and ran back toward the Principle Office.
     "I don't know what I'm going to do with him," Coretney sighed.
     "Yeah," the One who was waiting on her agreed, looking up at the falling cube.

A_E: Okay, I'm in the Game. Hmm.... the User is 2 levels below us, and I'm on the next-to-last level. Well good! By my calculations, the User should reach this level by the time I finish!
Matt: Oh... my head...
A_E: Yay! The carbon monoxide seems to have been deleted by the Game! You're saved! C'mon, Matt, DOS, let's MiST!

     Suddenly, a small insect came buzzing up.  Coretney swatted absently at it, but it persisted. 

Matt: (Coretney) Shoo fly! Don't bother me!

Coretney swung at it again and again, but she always missed and it kept flying at her.  Suddenly, she found it had landed on her icon and inserted its beak into it.

DOS: Uh-oh.

  She got a strange tingling feeling all over and felt like she was going to collapse.

Matt: What's happening?

     It was _infecting_ her.

Matt: Oh. Ouch.

     Across the system, Stephan was grimly watching the Game descend.  He was sure that it would envelop the entire system. 

A_E: I wonder why this is happening?
Matt: Beats me. Play it again, Sam.

     Across the system, Stephan was grimly watching the Game descend.  He was sure that it would envelop the entire system.

Matt: No! Not really!
DOS: Say, shouldn't we Reboot?
A_E: Hold on. We're almost done. 

And for some reason, he didn't think that it was a puzzle Game.  It was like watching the system coming to an end.

Matt: That's not good.

     "So, what are we going to do?" Newton asked him nervously.

A_E: (Stephan) Run. Very quickly.

     Stephan shook his head.  "We'll just have to wait and see."

Matt: (Stephan) Or NOT!

     Horrified, Coretney swatted at the bug.  It detatched itself from her icon, but it darted at her again.  She threw the rest of her energy shake at it and made a run for it.

Matt: (Bug) I'm drowning! Glub glub

     "Hey!  You gotta pay for that!" the One called angrily.

DOS: (Corentey) I'm going to be infected! Shut up!

     The bug was delayed slightly by being washed to the ground by the shake, but it quickly flew off straight toward Coretney, following her back to the Principle Office.

Matt: (Bug) Buzz. Does that turn you on?

     Coretney ran all the way back to the PO and slammed the door behind her and put up the energy field.  She leaned her back against a wall and slumped to the floor.

A_E: She sure is tired.

Gooi walked up to her and licked her hand with concern.

DOS: How cute!

     "I'm okay," she said with a weak smile.  "Still on-line."

Matt: But infected! Sorta...

     Just then, the Game descended from the ceiling.  A nano before they were absorbed by it, she remembered that the Game would automatically eliminate the defensive shield when it stabilized.

A_E: Okay, that was a basic gesture.

     "Well. . . great."

All: Ha ha ha ha!

     Black Tuesday was replaced by a country covered mostly by a thick, forbidding forest.  Here and there, a small town poked out of the foliage.

A_E: This Game looks cool.

In the center, where the Principle Office was supposed to be, there stood a magnificent, glimmering castle. 

Matt: Cool!

To the north were monstrous, looming mountains. 

Matt: Uncool!

A dragon sailed gracefully through the sky overhead.
     Stephan nodded grimly.  Some sort of fantasy RPG.  His immediate surroundings had been replaced by a small, stereotypical medieval farming village. 

Matt: You know, those Games look cool. And they're hard for the User! Usually.

A large number of binomes flooded out into the streets, unsure of what was going on.  None of them had ever been in a Game like this.

A_E: (Binomes) What is happening?

     Stephan left "Newton's Zeroes", which had been replaced by some sort of inn.  "Reboot," he said authoritatively, double-clicking his icon. 

A_E: Okay, now we can Reboot.
All: Reboot!
ZEOW ZAP ZING!

This time it worked, and his clothes were replaced by a shining suit of armor.
"Falcon," he commanded, "Game stats."

DOS: Hey cool! I'm an Amazon woman!
Matt: I'm a jungle commando!
A_E: I'm a scientist. Hey, guys, we're on one of the levels of a Game called "Goldeneye" it seems we're on the next-to-last level, and we're in a place called "Cuba". The User is now 2 levels away from us.
Matt: All right! Let's kick some butt!

     Falcon clicked, whirred, and produced the Game stats.

A_E: They read:

Game: A Game

You must stop the User.

Matt: Sure are short.

Game: Dracocosm

Matt: I like the name! Dracocosm!

User persona: Ashmere

A_E: I think he's a dragon.

User objective: To destroy the castle and eliminate all of the towns.

A_E: That's dandy.

     _Sounds like a lot of fun_, Stephan thought darkly.

DOS: Lotsa fun.

Persona: Sir Audmar

Matt: A knight!

Persona objective: To defend the town.

A_E: Cool.

     "From what?" Stephan thought aloud.  Suddenly, a shadow was cast over Falcon. 

DOS: The User!

Stephan looked up to see what it was and found himself looking into the pure black eyes of the User. 

A_E: The fiend!

This Game depicted it as a large and rather terrifying dragon with razor-sharp teeth and claws.

Matt: A dragon!

     "Oh Bit," Stephan muttered.

Matt: Hey! This wasn't supposed to have bad language in it!
A_E: Well, guys-
DOS: Ahem.
A_E: And gals, the Suer is about to finish the last level, so scurry around and get whatever you think might stop the User.
Matt: Okay!
A_E: On second thought, don't. I'm a scientist, who the User isn't supposed to harm. I can get it safely. Guard the exit! It's that a way! And see you next time on MSLT3K
Matt: If we're not nullified.
A_E and DOS: Matt!
Matt: Sorry!

MSLT3K