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A_E: Well, here we are, MiSTing a
fanfic. By Jo Ann. Hum.
DOS: Oh get on with it.
A_E: OK! So here without further adieu... MSTL3K!
ReBoot
All: Font size 22... ooooo...
User Meets Sprites
DOS: That's original.
By: Jo Ann Montgomery
A_E: Yeah, yeah. Get on with it!
Note: This is an older fanfic, written back before I got on the internet.
Matt: That actually happened?
There has been several requests for my early work,
DOS: All for MiSTing it.
and as this story is the one where I first go to Mainframe and meet Bob and the other Mainframers, I thought I'd
A_E: Delete it?
type it up again, and send it out.
A_E: Awww...
DOS: Hey! How can we MiST it if it doesn't exist?
Matt: Ooo! The Twilight Zone! Do do do do do do do do...
DOS: Shaddup.
By-the-way, this story was originally written in Microsoft's Creative Writer Program. It is being retyped in Microsoft's WordPad.
DOS: And now in Microsoft's FrontPage
Editor.
A_E: I hope this fic has a passport.
Jo Ann sat at her computer, writing stories in her Creative Writer program.
Matt: (sarcastic) Great beginning! A fic in a fic.
She typed, corrected, and typed again,
A_E: And corrected again, and typed again, and corrected again...
the words flowing into a steady rhythm, and becoming a story from her mind.
Matt: So she's writing this after it
happened?
DOS: I think so.
Jo Ann consulted the spelling checker regularly, and saved often.
DOS: Handy-dandy tips for writers.
The Creative Writer was one of her favorite programs.
A_E: You know, I've never heard of that
program.
Matt: I see why this is old.
Little did she know who --and what-- was watching her from inside the computer, itself.
All: Well DUH!
***
Matt: Ah! Three little
snowflakes!
DOS: No, they're stars.
Matt: Snowflakes!
DOS: Stars!
A_E: Actually, they're asterisks.
DOS and Matt: What?
"Is the User doing it again?" Enzo asked.
A_E: You know, it's more Enzo-ish to
go, "Is the User doing it again?"
Matt: What about, "Is the User doing it
again?"
A_E: NO.
The small, green sprite looked up into the sky.
DOS: And got hit by a falling file.
"It looks like it," Bob replied. The blue-skinned Guardian watched the sky with his friends.
A_E: Oh they're doing that trick.
Looking up, then everyone else looks up, and then they laugh. Ha
ha ha!
DOS: You okay?
A_E: No! Mwa ha ha ha!
"I like it when the User does this!" a little girl binome said, happily.
DOS: Oh User, I hate to think what they're seeing.
Matt: Megabyte in a skirt?
"No one gets hurt!"
A_E: That's great! Must be an upgrade.
DOS: Or maybe she's making cocktail recipes.
Bob looked down and smiled at the girl.
Matt: Oh no, Bob likes it too!
Then, he resumed watching the sky.
A_E: (Bob) Look! That cloud looks like a fish, that's a binome, that's a... Game Cube? AAA!
"Am I in it yet?" Matrix asked.
All: Oh no! Matrix likes it! AAAAA!
The green man was the first, original Enzo, before Mainframe crashed and was restored.
Matt: But that's another story.
"You are now, Matrix!" laughed Dot, Matrix and Enzo's sister.
A_E: Okay, Dot likes it, Matrix likes
it, Bob likes it, a small binome likes it, what could it be?
DOS: Maybe they're seeing pictures of them kicking Megabyte's
bitmap.
A_E: Oh, now I get it!
"So are you, Dot!" Matrix countered.
Matt: Oh yeah, Dot kicking Megabyte's bitmap...
Then, the Mainframers heard a pig squeal.
A_E: Oh no! The pig's got loose!
"What did the User just do?" the little girl asked.
Matt: That's a good question.
"I think the User just saved the story," Dot answered.
All: Huh?
(Author's Note: The Creative Writing program has lots of funny noises when you use the options. The pig squeal is heard when you save something.)
All: Oh.
"What's this story about, anyway?" Enzo asked.
A_E: Oh! It's a story about Megabyte's bitmap being kicked!
"You askin' me, sugah?" Mouse replied.
A_E: Hello? This is obvious!
"Who knows what the User's doin'," Wild Card said.
DOS: Okay, who is that?
Matt: Since when was this Poker?
"I think I know. But I don't know how I know," Amazon said.
A_E: Oh! It's an Amazon woman! AIE!
"What is the story about, then" AndrAIa asked.
Matt: Can't they read?
"Didn't you see the title? 'User Meets Sprites'. The User is writing about her meeting us!"
DOS: How do they know it's a she?
"How do you know that the User is female? Bob asked, giving Amazon a puzzled look.
DOS: Hey! I said it first!
A_E: Okay, she's writing this fic in her fic, which means she's
not writing it... oh this is confusing!
"I don't know exactly how I know, but the name in the story is a female name: Jo Ann. So, I'm guessing that the User is female."
Matt: Guess away!
"What were those funny little pictures?" AndrAIa asked.
DOS: Funny pictures?
A_E: What?
"And where did they go?" Enzo added.
Matt: Where were they in the first place?
(Me again: There is an option in Creative Writer where that matches words with pictures. I did that while writing this story, just for fun, then undid the action.)
All: Oh.
"Never mind that," Dot said. "Did you notice that everything we say is being typed up?"
(Everyone is now laughing hysterically on the floor)
"Do you mean we are really being written as part of someone's story?" Bob asked.
(Still laughing)
"That's exactly what I mean!" Dot answered.
A_E: User! Ha ha ha! Why is that so
funny?
DOS: I don't know, but it is!
Matt: (still on floor) Ooo, gum!
"She sure checks her spelling a lot, doesn't she?" Enzo said.
DOS: Do ewe do tat?
A_E: I tink soo.
Matt: Hay authr! Chek yor speling!
"A sure sign of someone who like things to look right," Phong replied, joining them.
All: What?
DOS: Phong makes no
sense there.
"I wish we could meet her," the little girl said.
All: We don't.
"Don't worry, Tiffiny," said Amazon. "With the title she has on this story, we soon will."
Matt: Ppppppplot twist!
DOS: Must you do that?
Matt: Yes!
***
Matt: Snowflakes!
DOS: Stars!
A_E: Asterisks for crying out loud!
It was very late at night. Jo Ann kept typing on her computer, but she was getting very sleepy.
Matt: Very, very sleepy. When I clap my
hands you will wake up in Mainframe.
A_E: I knew computers hypnotises people!
Her head nodded and her eyes closed. Jo Ann fell asleep at her computer.
DOS: Asleep at the job? Wait, she's
writing this story as she goes along, so she can't write anything
uhntil she wakes up!
A_E and Matt: Huh?
***
Matt: Snow-
A_E: Ahem!
Matt: -asterisks!
Jo Ann awoke with a start.
Matt: (clap) Hey, a little late there, miss!
She looked around, puzzled. No longer sitting at her computer, she was now sitting on the ground in an incredible city.
A_E: New York City?
A city that looked like it was straight out of a cartoon.
A_E: Gotham City?
A computer-animated cartoon.
A_E: Hmm... lemme think.
All around Jo Ann was a strange collection of people, each with skin tones straight out of a rainbow.
DOS: I wonder if there's a ROY G. BIV around.
"Hello," a blue-skinned man said. He smiled as he held out a hand.
All: Don't take it!
Jo Ann took the hand and the blue man helped her up.
A_E: Now don't go doing that! He's a total stranger.
"H...h...h...hi," Jo Ann stammered, nervously.
A_E: And don't talk to them either.
She looked at the blue man closely. "Bob?!?"
All: Bob?!?
"Yep!" Bob grinned.
DOS: Oh User! Jo Ann wants to marry
Bob!
A_E and Matt: WHAT?
DOS: Oh shut up, Al.
A_E: I told you not to make that joke!
The others came closer to the startled User.
"Am I really in Mainframe?" Jo Ann asked.
Matt: No, it's just a dream. Now tap
your heels three times...
A_E: NO.
"You shore are, sugah!" a purple woman with neon-red hair smiled.
DOS: That's a record. Worst portrayal
of an accent.
A_E: She's at the beach? Huh?
"Mouse?!?" The purple woman nodded.
A_E: Who's talking there?
DOS: No one. She's doing special sign language; nodding =
Mouse?!?
"I take it you know everyone else?" Bob asked.
Matt: Please no, please no, please no...
"Y...y...y...yes."
Matt: D'oh!
Now, Jo Ann was really nervous.
DOS: Why?
"But, how...?"
"We do not know, my child," said Phong.
Matt: Ah-ha! Something Phong doesn't know!
"Who are the "Kentucky Wildcats'?"
All: Huh?
Tiffiny asked, looking at Jo Ann's T-shirt.
A_E: Who are they?
"The basketball team for the University of Kentucky," Amazon answered,
Matt: Now why would a sprite know that?
A_E: I dunno.
before Jo Ann could say anything. Jo Ann eyed the red-armored woman closely.
Matt: (Jo Ann) Hmm... I see BSNP got to her breast...
"Amazon?!?" she gasped in surprise.
All: You know her?
"You know me?" Amazon was just as surprised as Jo Ann.
All: Exactly!
"I should.
All: Huh?
When I began writing stories about Mainframe and you guys, I decided to get in on the stories --or, at least, pretended to.
DOS: And you still are.
To become part of the stories, and yet remain an observer, I created the character of Amazon. That's the name I use when I go into chat rooms. You are me!"
All: Oh.... huh?
The Mainframers gasped in amazement and awe. Amazon was not a real User, just a character in Jo Ann's stories.
A_E: Why didn't she explain this in advance?
"Fake!" a binome cried, staring accusingly at Amazon.
Matt: Fight! Fight! Fight!
"What do you mean, 'Fake'?" Jo Ann rose to the defence of her character.
A_E: Yeah, what do you mean?
"She is a User: Me!
A_E: You go girl!
DOS: You're getting a tad bit overexcited, A_E.
She's how I dreamed what I'd be like if I ever visited Mainframe. Don't go around saying that she's a fake, when she's just as real as I am!"
A_E: Yeah!
DOS: No! Sit down A_E!
A_E: No! You little... *sock* *punch*
Matt: Well, I guess I'm left.
The binome was taken aback by Jo Ann's anger. He had not meant to upset the User.
Matt: Oh well, too bad, now delete him, Jo.
"What about me?" Wild Card asked.
Matt: Yeah, who are you?
He was as blue-skinned as Bob, with gold hair and a shadow beard.
Matt: Ooo, looks like Bob!
DOS: (head shoots up) Looks like Bob? Who? Where?
"I created you, too, Wild Card," Jo Ann answered, her anger abating.
Matt: Behold the Creator! User hath
forgiven us!
DOS: What? Ow! Stop it!
"Why?" was all Wild Card could say.
All: Hmm...
"So that Amazon could have a love interest."
A_E: Oo la la!
DOS: Shut up!
"A love interest?" Amazon asked. "Why create one?"
Matt: That is such a stupid question.
"The three best eligible guys were already taken, so I had to come up with something."
A_E: Oo la la!
DOS: I mean it!
Bob, Matrix, and Ray Tracer looked at each other, slightly blushing. "So, I created a twin brother for Bob."
DOS: Oo la la!
A_E: Now don't you start!
DOS: Me? You were the one who started it.
"Why a twin for me?" Bob asked.
DOS: (Jo Ann) Because you're such a
hottie!
A_E: That's it! Catfight! *smack* *whap* *slap*
Matt: Ouch...
"I wanted a character that seemed like a combination of you and Matrix. I came up with Wild Card."
All: That's who he is...
"Was it your idea to make me a Guardian Academy drop-out?"
All: Ha ha ha!
"You didn't drop-out. You...uh...flunked,"
All: Wa ha ha ha!
Jo Ann looked up into the sky, avoiding Wild Card's eyes.
A_E: (Jo Ann) Don't make eye contact... just stay clam...
"I what!?!" Wild Card stared in anger at Jo Ann.
All: Ha ha ha ha!
"I figured that, if the Guardian Academy was like any other school, there would be sprites that would *ahem!* flunk."
A_E: Believe me, I've been there, and you don't flunk. You stay until you get it right.
"What does 'flunk' mean?" Tiffiny asked.
DOS: (Jo Ann) To do really really bad.
"Do you want to answer her, or should I?" Jo Ann asked Amazon.
A_E: (Amazon) You.
"I'll do it," Amazon sighed.
A_E: Poo!
To Tiffiny, she said, "'Flunk' means 'fail'. Jo Ann made Wild Card fail the Guardian Academy."
DOS: Bad you!
"You made me into a failure?!?" Wild Card raged.
Matt: Get out of there Jo....
"You call 5700 captures, no deletions, and no escapes, 'failure'?
Matt: Holy...
I only made you fail Guardian training: You're a success as a bounty hunter!" Jo Ann countered.
A_E: Go Jo! Go Jo!
Wild Card stood there with his mouth open, unable to speak.
DOS: (Jo Ann) Now let's shove stuff into his mouth!
Amazon reached over and closed it for him.
DOS: (Amazon) Muscles doing bad?
"Are you writing that delightful, little Halloween story?" Hexadecimal asked, sweetly.
All: Halloween? What?
"Yes. But I'm sorta stuck. I don't know what to write next in it."
DOS: Make Daemon come and infect everyone.
"And me as Morticia Addams! How wonderfully sweet of you to give me someone I could relate to!"
All: Ha ha ha!
"I'm glad you like it. Or would you rather have been Lily Munster? I could still change it, you know."
All: Ha ha ha!
"Oh, no. Morticia Addams is fine!"
A_E: *sniff* That is funny!
"Okay, then."
"Who was Mark Anthony and Cleopatra?" Bob asked.
Matt: Two lovers caught in a rage. The
two families don't want them together. They love each other, but
they both kill themselves...
DOS: That's Romeo and Juliet!
"They go way back --about two-thousand years ago. Cleopatra was the last queen of Egypt before it fell to the Romans. Mark Anthony was her fourth husband."
All: Four husbands?
"Why did you pick them for our costumes?" Bob asked.
All: Four husbands?
"Because they are one of the world's most famous love pairs, because the only other pair of lovers I could think of was Romeo and Juliet --and they ended up killing themselves--, and because I like Cleopatra."
Matt: Ha! My lovers are in the story!
A_E: Didn't Cleopatra and Mark Antony also kill themselves?
"Do you play computer games?" AndrAIa asked. All the Mainframers were interested in learning the answer.
All: Please no.
"Some. But I'm more into writing stories."
All: That's fine.
"Oh," AndrAIa replied. The Mainframers breathed a sigh of relief at Jo Ann's answer.
A_E: Well, there goes the action.
"Bob, is it true about the Guardians and Deamon?" Jo Ann asked, concern in her voice.
DOS: Who's Deamon?
A_E: I think she means Daemon.
DOS: Who?
"I'm afraid so," Bob replied, sadly.
Matt: Tis a sad tale.
"But Jo Ann could save them," Tiffiny said. "She could write in her stories that the Guardians were cured."
DOS: But she's got a thesis too write, so too bad!
"Could you?" Bob asked, hopefully. All eyes were on the visiting User.
A_E: (Jo Ann) Stop it! Look away! Stop!
"Before I answer that, I need to ask you something: Are you aware that you --with the exception of Wild Card and Amazon-- are characters in a T.V. show?"
All: No.
"Yes. That is something that we have known since Mainframe was created," Phong said.
All: Huh?
"But what has that got ta do with helpin' the Guardians?" Mouse asked.
All: Huh?
"Because, only the writers of the show can make curing the Guardians of Deamon 'official'. I could write in my stories that they were cured --heck, in one of my crossovers, I have--, but it wouldn't be valid. Only the writers of the show could do that, and have it really happen."
A_E: Dang! I wanted to see valid action.
"Jo Ann," Amazon began, "Wild Card and I -- we are not 'official', are we?"
"No..."
DOS: Oh well, you're not offical, you don't exist. Be seeing you!
"Yet, we exist here, in this Mainframe," Amazon went on.
'"True..."
Matt: But how?
"What Amazon is tryin' to say is, this is not the 'official' Mainframe. It's your Mainframe, the Mainframe of your stories," Wild Card added.
All: Oh.
"That means you can save the Guardians, if only in your stories," Bob said.
All: Yay!
"I could, couldn't I. But how?" Bob and the others just shrugged.
All: Boo!
"It's up to you," Matrix said.
"Why don't you do it now?" Tiffiny asked.
DOS: Do it! Just make it end!
A_E: Do you see the scroll bar over there? Look at it.
"Yeah!" agreed Enzo. "Why don't you save the Guardians yourself!" The Mainframers began murmuring excitedly, begging Jo Ann to save the Guardians from Deamon.
Matt: They really like her.
DOS: (Dot) Save us... (bows)
"Okay. But first, I need to know what I can do in Mainframe." Jo Ann thought for a moment, then moved to a clear space. Concentrating for a moment, she suddenly snapped her fingers.
All: Snap!
To the amazement of the Mainframers, a beautiful white horse appeared before them. But it was no ordinary horse. This horse had large, white eagle-like wings. It reared and bucked, obviously frightened of its strange surroundings.
All: Oo ah!
"Easy, Pegasus; no one's going to hurt you," Jo Ann spoke softly to the magnificent animal. Concentrating on her closed hand, Jo Ann held it out to Pegasus. Slowly, she opened her hand, revealing
A_E: Poison!
three sugar cubes. Pegasus nibbled at them, nuzzling her hand as he did so.
DOS: Horses like sugar? I didn't know.
"Impressive," said a voice that was not one of the Mainframers. "But can you conjure something to save Mainframe from us?"
All: Who's that?
"Turbo!" Bob cried.
Matt: OH! Turbo's come to save the day, tra la la la la...
"And the other Guardians!" Matrix added. He had his gun in his hand in an instant. Wild Card, too, had his gun out. AndrAIa joined them, her trident in her hand. Mouse, her swords out and ready, moved to join them, with Amazon a step behind her.
Matt: Hey! What's with the swords and guns and stuff?
The Guardians that they were looking at looked like zombies out of a 1950's horror movie. Their colors had faded to black, white, and gray. Only their eyes showed another color, glowing bright red. Their uniforms were torn and ragged, hanging off their bodies like shrouds.
DOS: Why, they're infected!
Matt: Oh. Hey Turbo you stink! (throws garbage at fic)
"Wow! Deamon did a real number of them, didn't she?" Jo Ann exclaimed.
"Uh...Jo Ann: That cure would really come in handy right about now," Wild Card said, looking over to the User.
DOS: (Jo) Right. What was it again? Hmm... give me a few minutes...
"There is nothing your User can do to save you!" The being that was Turbo/Deamon snarled.
A_E: Boo!
"Don't count me out yet, Deamon!" Jo Ann waved her hands, weaving an energy cage around the infected Guardians. "That should hold them," she said, "Now for the tough part; curing them."
DOS: An energy cage hold a supervirus? I don't think so!
"You can not cure the Guardians!" Deamon's voice came from out of Turbo. Just three more, and the Guardians will all be mine!" Turbo/Deamon reached out a hand, as it to touch Bob, Matrix, and Wild Card.
DOS: No! Bob!
"Don't bet on it, Deamon!" Jo Ann answered. "All I really need to do is concoct an incantation to drive you out of the Guardians. And have I got a real doozy!"
Matt: Yeah! What's a doozy?
She folded her hands and, with her eyes closed, concentrated. Then, she began to recite a spell.
A_E: Boil, boil, toil and trouble...
"Powers of good, hear me; come to my call, help me drive out the evil that inhabits these defenders of right!"
Matt: Just strike them with a stake. Worked for Buffy.
As Jo Ann called upon the powerful elements of good, colored lights swarmed to her hands, forming a ball of magic dust. As the magic was gathered, Jo Ann separated her hands to contain the glittering particles.
All: Oo ah!
"From the sun, I call the golden light of truth; from the stars, with white light of justice. From the planets, the rainbow lights of strength and hope; from the deepest sea, the blue light of healing. From the lushest rainforest, the green light of knowledge; from the highest mountain, the ice-blue light of purity. From the moon, the silver light of bravery; from the animals of the world, the bronze light of wisdom. And from the people of Mainframe, the soft light of love, for love is more powerful than evil. Mix well, these elements of good and right, to form the cure to save the Guardians from Deamon's blight!"
All: WHAT?
The ball of magic dust swirled in her hands, the colored lights moving in patterns like the colors of a soap bubble. Slowly, Jo Ann approached the cage that held the Guardians.
Matt: ...and was infected. End, now let's go.
Pausing within touching distance of Turbo, Jo Ann blew the ball of magic dust into the cage . Not one Guardian escaped the cloud of magic. Then the User stepped back to wait out Deamon as the lights drove her out of the Guardians.
DOS: (Deamon) AAAAAAAAAA!
First, the Guardians regained their old colors. Then, their torn uniforms repaired themselves, as if being sewn by invisible tailors. Lastly, the red glow faded from their eyes, replaced by their true eye colors. Overhead, a dark cloud formed, shaping itself into a hideous, deformed monster.
All: Cool.
"You have cost me the Guardians, User!" Deamon hissed. "But I can still infect you!" The super-virus swooped down toward Jo Ann.
A_E: Get down! Roll out of the way,
firing your PP7 and thren take out your sniper!
Matt: This isn't James Bond.
"Dream on, Bozo Bit!" Jo Ann raised her left hand, which began to glow with a blue-white light. She slashed down, forming a light bow. Pulling on the bowstring, Jo Ann aimed a silver arrow at Deamon.
DOS: Fire!
"Arrow of Artemis, goddess of the hunt, fly swift and true!" she cried, releasing the arrow. The silver shaft, tipped with a head of clearest crystal, flew straight and true. In nanoseconds, the arrow had found its mark, striking Deamon in the heart of the evil cloud.
Matt: Clouds have hearts?
DOS: Archery classes paid off!
Deamon howled in pain as the shaft did its work. The magic in the arrow spread all over the virus, the good destroying the evil. Within microseconds, it was over. Deamon was gone for good, destroyed by the good of the universe. Only one thing remained to be done.
A_E: That was to infect everyone again and start it all over.
Snapping her fingers, Jo Ann made the cage holding the Guardians disappear. Guardians and Mainframers mingled joyfully, celebrating the victory over the super-virus. Jo Ann leaned wearily in Bob and Matrix's arms.
DOS: Wow.
Turbo made his way to where Jo Ann was. The large sprite, his mere presence commanding attention, drew Guardians and Mainframers alike to the heroine of the millisecond, who rested in the arms of two strong Guardians.
All: Yay!
"Ma'am, what y'all have done this second has no equal in the history of all tha systems. There is not enough gratitude in all tha systems of tha world ta thank ya for what ya have done for us." Turbo gallantly took her hand and, bending forward while raising the hand, kissed it.
A_E: Turbo and Jo Ann, sitting in a
tree!
DOS: Excuse me? She's going to marry Wild Card. Remember he's a
lover for Jo?
"I'm happy I could help," Jo Ann said wearily. "But you do realize that you are only cured in my stories, don't you? In the 'official" stories that appear on T.V., you and the Guardians are still infected by Deamon."
All: Dang!
"Ah know. But here, in tha Mainframe of yore makin', Deamon is defeated an' tha Guardians are free of her, at last. That is reason enough to celebrate."
All: Yay!
"Right. But first, I need a rest! Conjuring magical cures for computer viruses is exhausting work!"
A_E: Huh. It never was for me. I just put some stuff in a beaker and volia!
Guardians and Mainframers laughed, agreeing that their User needed a rest before the big celebration that night.
***
All: Asterisks!
The park was decorated for the victory party. All of the people of Mainframe was there, as well as the Guardians.
DOS: So?
Even Matrix and Wild Card were dressed up for the occasion, although they felt conspicuous and out of place.
Matt: Matrix always is out of place!
Dot wore the red gown she wore for Matrix's birthday so very long ago.
DOS: Why not the blue one? Or a green one? There's a lot of choices.
Bob wore his chrome armor, sprinkled with gold glitter.
DOS: Ooo Bob...
A_E: *slaps DOS* Stop that!
All awaited for the arrival of the guest of honor.
Matt: I wonder who it is... Mike the TV?
Finally, Jo Ann arrived.
Matt: Phew!
The guests stared in awe as she came to stand by Turbo.
A_E: (Binome) Look at her dress...
The Prime Guardian took her hand and led her into full view of the Guardians and the Mainframers.
DOS: ...and they threw garbage at her.
Jo Ann was dressed in a long, Greek chiton, white, shot through with gold threads that caused the dress to shimmer in the light of the street lamps.
Matt: What's a chiton?
A_E: Lemme see the dictionary... "chi·ton (kî'tän) n. 1 a
loose garment of varying length..."
Matt: Suddenly I don't care.
A Guardian icon held the dress in place on her right shoulder.
DOS: It'd better be pinned on real tight...
Greek sandals, tall and gold, were on her feet. In her short hair, resting on her head, was golden, Greek crown. A gold necklace, gold earrings, bracelets, armbands, and rings adorned her body, glittering in the light. A wide, gold belt held the chiton close to her body. She wore little make-up: Gold eyeshadow on her eyelids, a little blush on her cheeks, and glittering red lipstick.
Matt: How many times were gold
mentioned in the last few sentences?
A_E: 7.
Matt: A golden Greek Guardian. Huh.
She presented a dazzling figure to the Mainframers and Guardians.
DOS: (Binome) I need sunglasses! I'm blind! Blind!
"You look like a queen, Jo Ann," Wild Card said.
Matt: Huh?
"She sure does!" Bob agreed. The others at the party nodded their agreement.
DOS: (Others) Yep. Yep. Yep. How about those Knicks?
"Thanks, guys," she blushed. "Well, let's get this party going!" She snapped her fingers. From out of the air, there came the song, "Everybody Rejoice", from "The Wiz", complete with lyrics.
A_E: Is it just me, or is snapping her
fingers magical?
Matt: At least she doesn't wiggle her nose.
"I thought that it would be appropriate, given the occasion," Jo Ann smiled at her Mainframe friends. Turbo and the others laughed, agreeing that the song was indeed appropriate.
DOS: (Others) Yep. Yep. Yep. How about those Broncos?
The party lasted long into the night. Enzo has fun retelling the epic battle of the User versus Deamon.
A_E: (Enzo) And so then, I totally destoryed Deamon blindfolded and above lava!
Jo Ann got to dance with --and even kiss-- Bob, Matrix, Ray, Wild Card, and Turbo.
DOS: Hey! Only 2 people can kiss Bob! Dot, and me!
She reminded Bob, Matrix, Ray and Wild Card that they were already taken, so only one dance and kiss from each was enough.
Matt: That means Jo is going out with Turbo!
Dot, AndrAIa, and Mouse looked at Jo Ann gratefully, but Amazon only smiled.
DOS: (Amazon) How to delete her...
"I am you in this Mainframe. You have as much right to Wild Card as I do," she said.
A_E: But you're not really her because she exists in two places so she's seeing herself... wait, this never worked in "Back to the Future"!
"Thank you," Jo Ann smiled back.
All: You're welllcome!
***
Matt: Asterisks... beautiful Asterisks!
The next second, Jo Ann prepared to return home. All she had to do was
All: Click your heels three times and say "There's no place like home?"
write herself home in the story.
All: Oh poo.
All the Guardians and the Mainframers were there to say good-bye.
Matt: (Mainframers) Good riddance!
"Here's the icon back, Turbo. Thanks for letting me use it for my dress last night." Jo Ann held out the gold and black disc.
A_E: Oh, so she's not a Guardian.
"Y'all keep it, Hon," Turbo pushed her hand back. He smiled at her. "You've earned it."
A_E: So now she is.
"He's right," Bob said. "Without you, Deamon would still have control of the Guardians."
DOS: No! Some weird plot twist would do something to affect iut all!
"Yeah!" Matrix added. "You guarded the Guardians!" Everyone laughed, happy that all was right again.
All: Bad joke!
"Will you ever be back?" Tiffiny asked.
DOS: (Jo) Possibly.
"Of course I will! All I have to do is write myself into the story, and I'll be here. I'll visist as often as I can," Jo Ann hugged the little one binome.
All: Awwww...
"Promise?" Enzo asked. The little, green sprite looked into her eyes.
All: Awwww...
"Guardian's honor, Enzo!" she smiled.
All: Uh...
"I'd better get going. Good-bye, everyone. And thanks."
DOS: Adios! Sayonara! See ya! Ciao!
"You are always welcome in Mainframe, Jo Ann," Dot replied.
"Thanks, Dot. Well, here goes." Jo Ann waved to the Mainframers and Guardians as she faded away.
Matt: I'm melting! Oh what a world...
***
A_E: I think you know what we're going to say.
Jo Ann woke up, still at her computer. Across a black screen, blue lettering scrolled by, proclaiming:
DOS: "Hello, Jo Ann. It is I, your computer... Hey Jo Ann you rock! Enzo! Stop that!
Mega Man X is Maverick Hunter Robot #1
All: WHAT?
"Oh, my screen saver!" Jo Ann moved the mouse.
All: Oh.
The slight movement was all it took to get Creative Writer back. On the screen, the story was finished. It was too late at night to print the story out, but Jo Ann checked the spelling one final time, then saved the story.
A_E: OK. Can we go now?
"I'll print tomorrow. Then I have to take the story off the computer to make room for another story. Too bad it was only a dream. I would have really liked to have traveled to Mainframe and meet Bob and the others."
Matt: Yeah, me too.
A_E: You have!
Jo Ann looked down at an object in her hand. It was a disk, half gold and half black. Each half had a triangle: A gold triangle on the black half, and a black triangle on the gold half.
DOS: What is it?
The icon of the Guardians in ReBoot!
DOS: No really. What is it?
"Could it be...?" she asked in wonder. "Did I really...?" She held the icon, then brought it to her lips, kissing it. Then, she clutched it to her heart.
Matt: Oh that's a really important
thing.
A_E: *slap* It is!
"I'd better not tell anyone, though. They might just lock me up!"
All: Tell! Tell!
Jo Ann carried the icon with her to her room, vowing to wear it every time she visited Mainframe. She had a tremendous idea for further visits.
DOS: Marry Turbo?
"What if I merged with Amazon every time I visited. She would have more powers while I'm there. But I'd better warn them first!" With that, she went to bed, dreaming of another trip to Mainframe.
All: Oh.
And you know there were other trips!
Matt: No we didn't!
THE
END
Matt: OK, end story,
lesgo.
A_E: Hold your horses.
(But who are we kidding? "The End"? Not!)
All: *groan*
Afterwards: Okay, so I made myself the heroine and saved everybody from Deamon. It's how I dreamed it.
A_E: I think you added a little something... everywhere!
And isn't it every fan-fic writer's fantasy to help their favorite characters? At least, I didn't make myself all-powerful, like most fan-fic writers would.
All: They do?
(I DID get weak after using my "User Magic" to free the Guardians and destroy Deamon.)
Matt: That's sorta good.
This is my first self-insertion fic.
DOS: And hopefully the last.
The second, "Return to Mainframe", which tells how I became a Guardian, is rewritten as "User Guardian One",
DOS: D'oh!
up on several sites, including Julia-Cat's ReBoot Corner.
Matt: Great. Now can we go?
A_E: Not yet! Next time on MSLT3K, we'll be MiSTing User Guardian
One.
Matt: Now?
A_E: Yes! Goodbye and goodnight!