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Mike:
I just can't believe it.
Crow: SO? I AM KING OF SPAIN!
Mike: I also can't believe you could be any
weirder. (Mike gets out a small prescription bottle) Here.
Take these. (He gives them to Bob and the 'bots) They're
um..... candy.
Servo: But I already have CANDY inside me!
Bob: I am King Henry the 8th!
Mike: TAKE THEM!
(They gulp them down)
Crow: WHAT ARE THEY MIKEY? ARE.... um... what
was that?
Mike: Those were non-insano pills. I use them
when the fics get really bad. Unfortunately, Pearl killed off the
guy who made them. I have the only ones.
Bob: Well. That's good.
Mike: Just act insane when Pearl and Megabyte
have to talk to us, and we should be happy.
Crow: That shouldn't be TOO hard!
Mike: Not for you....
Episode four of
the new show:
Rebot
Servo: All right, let's just get to the point.
Mike: It's Part
4 of Rebot!
Bob: Yippee!
Bob: I seem too happy there.
(Cut to a jail)
Tub: Oh poo.
NOTE: AFTER PULLING THAT STUPID STUNT, TUB O. LARD, REAL E. FAT
AND THE ENTIRE CREW OF ABCBS HAVE BEEN PUT IN JAIL. YAY.
Crow: I AGREE. THEY MADE US GO INSANE.
Real: We hate
you.
THAT'S TOO BAD.
Tub: Hey!
ANYWAY, BACK TO THE STORY.
Real: Help!
Mike: Why should we?
(Cut back to Mike)
Mike: Hi!
Mike: Well,
that's dandy.
Bob: Hmmm..
Mike: What Bob?
Bob: I think I left the stove on.
Bob: What Mike?
Mike: I'm wondering if life is REAL.
Mike: Huh?
Bob: Why?
Bob: Who?
Mike: How?
Dot: Mike, just say what's happening today.
Crow: Um, that just went weird.
Mike: Oh! Right. Today on Rebot! (news music comes on for no apparent reason) Dot falls in love with Phong!
Bob: Erm... that doesn't sound too good.
Phong goes to kill himself!
Servo: Nor does that.
Theta is a very bad virus!
Mike: Well, duh.
And System Epson gets an unexpected upgrade... that's today on... REBOT!!!! WOW! I LOVE CAPS!
Crow: AS DO I!!!!
Dot: Mike...
Mike: Sorry. Heh!
Theta Owns Eta
Servo: Hey, that rhymes.
or
Crow:
Theta Owns Beta!
Bob: A small Class 1 virus owns a small parcel
of land on System Epson which, like the virus herself, is named
after a Greek letter.
Mike: Um, Bob?
Bob: What?
Mike: Stop.
Dot Goes Completely Random and Decides to Marry Phong Instead of Bob Which is a Very Stupid Decision, but What Would You Expect, She's Infected
(Everyone blinks)
Mike: How... long.
(It would be a good idea to go with the first title)
Servo: Good idea.
(We are in a large building that looks like a Greek building; i.e. The Parthenon)
Crow:
She REALLY likes the Greeks, huh?
Servo: I guess so.
Theta: Oh, what
a wonderful day to be... me....
(An alarm clock goes off somewhere)
Mike: (Theta) Will you turn that stupid thing off? I THINK you can wake up on your OWN!
Theta: Is it that time already? Good! Time for my minions to bring information because I am lazy.
Bob: Right...
Viral Binome:
(runs in) Hello, my queen.
Theta: Cut the royalities and get to the point, or you'll be
deleted.
Servo: Geez... she is MEAN!
Viral Binome:
Right. Scouts have found a large system 40 bytes from here!
Theta: Oh really! The I guess it's..
Crow: TIME TO DIE!
(Alarm clock
goes off again)
Theta: ...TIME TO MAKE CHAOS! HA HA!
Viral Binome: Good! You're right on time.
Bob: Well, THAT was a stupid pun.
Theta: Now
which way is the system?
Viral Binome: That way. (points)
Theta: Okay. (flys off through a pillar)
Servo:
Um... wouldn't the building fall down now?
Bob: She can FLY?
Viral Binome:
Man! We had just rebuilt that!
(Now to Mainframe)
Dot: Wow. Are you sure, Mouse?
Crow: (Mouse) Yes. The doc' said ah'm stuck with mah accent forever.
Mouse:
Positive.
Bob: I've got to go see that system!
Phong: Truly. Well, I must be getting back to the Principle
Office. Goodbye.
Servo:
When does Dot kill herself?
Crow: What? No, Phong goes to kill himself. Dot
loves Phong.
(Phong leaves out the back door. Suddenly, Phong busts the front doors to the diner down)
Servo: Um... how does this work?
Phong: Hello,
Bob, Mouse, and Dot. Have you seen myself?
Bob: Phong, are you okay?
Phong: Dot! Do you have feeling for me? MMM?
Mike: Get me away from Phong!
Dot: Um, no.
Phong: YOU WILL! YOU WILL WANT TO MARRY ME! Now, I'm afraid I
must go kill myself. Where did I go?
Crow: Well, nowhere, seeing as you're standing right there.
Mouse: Well,
yah went out the back, but ah-
Phong: Many thanks, Mouse. (Phong takes a gun from his drawer)
Goodbye, my children. (He rolls off)
Bob: Ooookay... what is with this?
Dot: Uh...
Bob: Yeah. Well, I've got to be going. Bye, Dot!
Mouse: Me too. Bah!
Crow: How convienent. Mouse and Bob just happen to have to leave.
Dot: Bye guys! (Bob and Mouse leave) Now what is Phong talking about? Me? Marry him? Ha!
Bob: He'd better be kidding.
(High above
Mainframe)
Theta: Hmmm.... I must infect someone...
Crow: (Theta) How about Dot?
ooh! A diner! I'm hungry!
Servo: (Theta) I'll go in and infect Dot!
Wait, they'd know I'm a virus at first glance. and with a system this big.... I'll just have to infect
Crow: Dot! Dot!
the workers.
Terrabyte! Sick 'im boy!
(A big web creature growls and goes towards the diner)
Theta: Oh joy!
Dot: I mean, it's not like...
Mike: (Dot) There's a big web creature coming at me- OH USER THERE IS!
Binome: Oh
User! What's that?
Dot: Phong must be random, but how did he...
Crow: (Dot) Know that a web creature is coming right at me- OH DEAR USER!
Binome: It's
coming this way! OH USER!
Dot: Two places at once? Ha! I must be dreaming. That's-
Mike: (Dot) -a sign that a web creature is coming right at me- USER USER USER!
Binomes: AAAAA!
Dot: Oh! It must have been a backup copy of Phong!
Cecil: Um, ma'am...
Bob: (Cecil) Move!
Dot: Cecil,
can't you see I'm bus-
(The web creature collides with a window and heads straight for
Dot, while everyone else escapes)
Dot: AAAAA!
Terrabyte: GROWL!
Bob: NOOOO!
(Terrabyte
begins to infect Dot, but he notices energy shakes and eats them
up)
Dot: oh, User what has.... MY QUEEN! Where are you Theta? I
must.... (faints)
Bob: DOT! DOT! WHY DO YOU HATE DOT?
(Terrabyte is very dumb and thinks Dot has been totally infected.
Bob: Well, I suppose THAT'S good...
He goes back to
Theta, with food)
Theta: How about a picnic, Terry?
Terrabyte: Growl!
(They go off, uh... well considering neither of them have hands,
uh, well they just go off)
Mike: Well.. that was interesting.
Dot: PHONG.... MUST MARRY... Okay, where is Phong? He has a strange... attraction.... But why? Might as well go find him.
Crow: DUM DUM DUM!
The End
Dot: I can't be
in this. I just can't.
Mike: Why not?
Dot: I JUST CAN'T! The thought of marrying Phong... ewww.....
Bob: YAY! THAT'S THE SPIRIT!
Mike: So we're
going to have put a stunt double in?
Dot: Yes.
Bob: Well, that's great. Now where are we going to find a last
minute stunt double?
Servo: THAT'S a stupid question.
Theta: I can be
it!
Bob: You're a virus!
Theta: Just in the story!
Mike: You're hired.
Bob: WHAT?
Bob: HEY! That goes against my code!
Mike: Now,
we're going to have to call you something... let's combine Dot
and Theta!
Theta: Data!
Mike: Used.
Crow: Data... what an odd coincidence.
Theta: Thot,
then.
Mike: Okay! So when you're a virus, you're Theta, and when you're
playing Dot, you'll be called Thot.
Theta: Sounds good to me.
Bob: Mike! She's! Virus! I! D'oh!
Bob: I know!
Theta: And now, back to Rebot.
Theta and Thot
Bob: Stupid Theta...
or
Just the Two of Us
Theta: Ah, my minions serve me well. And I'm happy. But wait! (cool sfx here)
Crow:
WYSIWEOW!
Servo: That was cool.
Crow: Thank you.
One of my
minions is... not... total.... huh. Well, as long as it's
infected. Now where'd that remote go. (crunching heard, followed
by Theta blasting an offstage web-creature)
Theta: You idiot! *sigh* Sometimes I hate my life...
Mike: A second ago you were HAPPY.
(The Principle
Office)
Thot: Where is phong? I don't know why he's so attractive but
THETA MY QUEEN I MUST INFECT PHONG AND I just don't know, why,
but I KNOW I HAVE TO FIND HIM, TO INFECT!
Bob: I don't want to watch.
Phong (The one
from the present, not the future): Hmm... now where did that file
go? I know it's...
Thot: Phong?
Phong: Yes, my child?
Thot: Will you marry me?
Bob: NOO! NOO!
Phong: WHAT?
You must be kidding.
Thot: No, marry me! Give up your life! And I'm COMMAND.COM so you
have to. Come now.
Bob: I hate that rule.
Phong: No, I
am-
Thot: NOW OR THETA WILL I will not be happy.
Phong: Child, did you say Theta? ARG! I will not marry a virus!
Mike: You aren't marrying the actual virus, just someone who is infected by her.
I must kill myself so I could never have met with you and gotten into this mess! (he rolls quickly up to a wall) Armenius Dotal! (the wall opens up. He goes in. A big zap is heard. Wall closes.
Crow:
Will Phong EVER BE KILLED?
Servo: They'd lose one good sprite that way.
The future
Phong rolls in through a door)
Phong: Oh no! You're still there! And I just left! Oh well. I
couldn't catch me.
Crow: Phong survived THIS round. But how many more WILL HE SURVIVE?
I know you're infected. So here's what the gun was really for: Disinfecting you.
Bob: Phew!
Thot: OUR
QUEEN! WE MUST GO TO OUR QUEEN!
Phong: I'd better do this quickly, you've gone schizophrenic!
Bob: GAH! YES!
*ZAAAPPPPPP!!!!*
Crow:
(Dot) NOOO! I'M MELTING!
Bob: CROW!
Crow: Oh... sorry...
(To Epson!)
Binome: Well, it will arrive any second.
Binome: Finally what we have been waiting for! A whole system
upgrade!
Binomes: Hooray! Hoorah! Hooray! Hoorah!
Mike:
Hoorah? Have you actually heard someone say that?
Crow: Hooray! Hoorah!
(We pan back
from this view to see Theta looking at it through a Vidwindow)
Theta: Oh shoot. A full system upgrade. I hate those!
Now I'm going to have to find a spot far away from this system,
or I'll be erased! Come, minions, it's time to cut & paste.
DUN DUN DUN!
Servo: What a climax.
The End
Theta: Am I
good at this split personality thing?
Mike: Well, no one can see you.
Theta: Oh goody!
Bob: She SOUNDS like Dot, but she is a VIRUS! (flinches)
Phong: So what
is happening next?
Mike: Can't tell, you'll just have to see! WHEEEEEE! (he runs
off)
Phong: Um, okay.
Crow: I hate Mike the TV.
(royal music
plays)
AND NOW, THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND.
Mike: Um.... why?
Queen Mum: Cheerio!
Servo: God save the Queen!
THIS HAS BEEN
THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND.
THANK YOU.
Bob: Well. How interesting.
Theta Escapes
from the Upgrade
or
See Theta Run. Run Theta Run.
Servo: See Servo Hate This Story.
Dot:
Ohhhhhhh.... what happened?
Phong: I knew it! You wanted to marry me because you were half
viral! Now I shall have to drag you into a large arena and have
you fight lions!
Dot: What?
Phong: Um, did I say that?
(Back to Epson)
Theta: Come ON! You are so slow! Detach this sector! Hurry up!
Binome: My queen, we can't detach it. We have to carry everything
away.
Theta: Well do that then!
Binome: Okay.
(Many binomes start carrying the large Greekish things towards a
patch of land a little bit away)
Theta: Any nano now the upgrade should arrive. Let's see if I get
a ruling tool!
System Voice: ATTENTION. INCOMING UPGRADE.
CPU Guy: Okay, everybody be ready! Come on move move move!
(Running is what we see. Just binomes running. Running running
running)
Binome: Incoming!
WHAM!
Binome: Cool! The upgrade! *knocks it* Hey! It sounds hollow!
(They open it up)
Binome: What in the Net? It is hollow!
Binome: Something must have gone wrong....
(Meanwhile, in the Userworld)
User: Shoot! I downloaded it wrong! All I have is a blank file!
I'll have to try this again. Stupid computer! ARG!
(Epson)
System Voice: ATTENTION. INCOMING UPGRADE.
Binome: This had better be the real thing.
Binome: Yeah, I want our system to be upgraded!
Binome: Say, what happens in a full system upgrade?
Binome: I dunno. Let's see.
(Instead of a little hole opening up and a container falling, the
sky above the system opens. The entrie sky above the system. What
follows is kind of like what happened when Mainframe got restored
and all. You know, a new Principle Office coming down from the
sky, then the sectors coming down, etc. etc.)
Binomes: Wow ooh ahh oo wow.
Binome: Hey! We have a new sector! It's called Cartridge!
Binomes: YAY!
(Back in Mainframe)
Phong: So then I zapped her, and all was fine.
Mouse: Wow, that was nice.
Ray: Weird.
Bob: Strange.
Enzo: ALPHANUMERIC!
Dot: Enzo!
Matrix: What?
Frisket: Arf!
Hex: What a cute dog!
Scuzzy: RRRRRRR....
AndrAIa: How's my hair?
Phong: SHUT UP!
(As if in... um.... something, the entire system went dead
silent. No one could talk. And then the sky went dark. And then
the SNATCHINGS started....)
(Phong mouths: "What snatchings?"
(You'll see....)
The End
A_Einome: Wow.
That sure was a heck of a ride.
Mike: Well, I'm the only one not silent!
A_Einome: I know. It's irony.
Mike: Anyway, that ends the first arc! There is more in the
second one! So keep reading, readers!
A_Einome: Whoo hoo.
Mike: Bye!
(A mime binome walks in, and starts talking)
A_Einome: Okay, now THAT'S irony.
Mike: What?
A_Einome: Just show the credits.
CREDITS
Rebot title belongs to moi. Bob, Dot, and friends belong to Mainframe Ent. I don't. So don't go thinking I do, because I KNOW WHERE YOU BUY WATER... Thanks to Kalifla for the idea of Phong going back in time to kill himself. And Dot wanting to marry Phong. But I thought of Epson getting that upgrade. :P Story copyright 2000 A_Einome. Boy, 2001 sure will be a weird year, huh? Theta, System Epson, and all that stuff belongs to me. Blah. The word "Theta" being in every title was my idea too. ^_^ Anyway, that's it. GOODDDDDDDNIGHT EVERYBODY! (Or good morning, afternoon, something like that)
