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Hi (Bob and Mike shuffle in)
Bob: What are we watching today?
Mainframe Comes Alive
Mike: (Dr. Frankenstien) It's alive, it's alive!!!!
by A_Einome
Bob: A_Einome? What's that? What's an einome?
Mike: Too many questions, Bob.
***
This interesting story is about a storm overloading a computer with Mainframe in it.
Bob: No! Overloading? No!!!!
Mike: You're starting to sound like Crow, Bob. Calm down.
A tear forms, someone (not telling)
Bob: Now what's the point of this? We don't know anything?
Mike: Please calm down.
Bob: It's just, I want Servo and Crow here. They're much better than me!
gets sucked into it, and appears in Userworld. Phong and the others have one kooky time getting *her* back!
Bob: Female? Hmm... That leaves Mouse, AndrAIa, Dot, and Hex. Wait a- kooky?
Mike: Kooky. It's a word.
Read on!
Bob: Well, dream on to you!
Mike: We have to read it.
Bob: Oh yeah.
(I will not be writing in script format this time, BTW)
Mike: And I think we already knew that, BTW.
***
The storm was quickly rolling in. John and Mike were on their computer, playing Jedi Knight. Inside, the Mainframers were in the game, fighting back.
Bob: To the left! No right! Come on!
"Watch it!" Bob said, blocking the User's lightsaber move.
Bob: I blocked it!
Mike: (Bob) I blocked it!
Bob: That's what I said.
"I know!" Matrix said,
Bob: (Matrix) I know! If we mess up the User's hair, we will win by default!
Mike: (Matrix) I know! 0 times 0 is 0!
shooting the User, watching his life go down.
Bob: My life would go down the drain if I was posing for that photographer!
Mike: You're really out of it. Man, I wish Crow and Servo would get back.
Outside, John and Mike were stunned.
Mike: (John) Man, that paralyzing gun sure stuns.
Bob: Mike the TV? Wait, he wasn't sent to the Userworld.
Mike: I think it's me. Hey! I'm in a story! A bad one, but a story nonetheless.
"Mike, these games get harder each time I play them!" John said.
"You're right. Let's work on something else," Mike said, closing the game.
Bob: This isn't a board game.
(Bob and Mike hear loud explosing coming from outside)
Bob: Huh?
Mike: Crow and Servo. They should be here soon.
"Game Over" the computer said, and the purple cube lifted up and away,
Bob: Up and away? Never met them.
dropping Bob and Matrix. Hack and Slash came rolling up to them.
"I think we did a fine job!" Hack said.
"Yes, we did good." Slash said.
"Great."
"Excellent"
"Stupendous"
"Wonderful"
Bob: Spectacular. Fantastic. Marvelous. Amazing. Sensational.
Mike: Stop. Cease. Desist. Quit it.
Bob: Fine. Whatever.
(Mike sighs)
"Guys, will you stop?" an irritated Matrix said.
"Would you really call hiding from the User helping?" Bob said.
Bob: Yeah, tell em, ...me!
"No." Hack said.
"Not at all." Slash said.
Bob sighed. "Let's go to the Diner."
Bob: Speaking of diners, I'm hungry.
Mike: Be quiet.
(Just then, a burnt black Crow and Servo bust in and run to their seats)
Crow: I'm here!
Servo: Nothing that serious happened. What did we miss?
Bob: Nothing much. Just a Game.
Servo: Okay then.
***
Outside of the computer, John and Mike were writing their school report.
Crow: (John) Hmm. What can I add to my report on ear fungi?
Servo: That's disturbing.
"Mike, will we finish this before that storm comes?" John said.
Mike: No.
"Yeah. I mean look!" Mike said, looking out the window. A bolt of lightning striked. "Forget what I said."
Mike: Why can't someone with my own name listen to me?
Crow: What, he can't hear you? Maybe because he has ear fungi.
Servo: I can't hear you Crow, lalalala...
Crow: You've got ear fungi also?
Bob: Drop the fungi.
Without warning the computer frizzled and sparked and overloaded.
Servo: Frizzled?
Bob: If you think that's weird, think about kooky.
Servo: I think my brain's frizzled over kooky.
Bob: Yeah, this is a kooky fic, all frizzled up, you know.
Mike: Stop it you two.
"See what happened?" John said.
Bob: (Mike) No, I can't. I'm sorta looking at the lightning now.
In Mainframe, they were feeling the damage. The ground shook and some small buildings toppled. Bob was wondering what was happening.
Bob: It's overloading! Man, I'm stupid!
Crow: Why did you admit that?
Bob: Huh? Oh, I... oops.
"Bob, what's going on?" Matrix said.
Bob: (Bob) The system is overloading.
Mike: You're getting kooky again.
"I don't know..." Bob said.
Bob: Yes I do.
A Vidwindow popped up. Phong appeared.
Bob: I need Phong's help! This is ridiculous! Lemme at 'em!
Mike: (holding Bob back) Something's wrong with you.
"Bob! Come to the Principle Office! We are... overloading!" the old sprite said.
Bob: Well DUH!
By now they had reached the Diner. "Be right there, Phong." Bob said. The window closed.
"Bob!" Dot said. "What's happening?"
Bob: Oh, someone else is getting stupid. (Dot) Bob? What's happening? Are we safe? I think we're safe. I mean, that tower just smashed my diner. Yep, we're safe.
"The system is overloading." Bob said.
Bob: I now say it.
Mike: Calm down.
Another tremor shook. "We've got to go to the Principal Office!"
"Okay, let me just finish things up here. See you in a nano." Dot said.
"Bye." Bob and Matrix started to speed off, but then a Tear appeared right by Dot.
Bob: Dot!
It turned into a Portal.
Bob: DOT!
"Dot! Get away from there!" Bob said. Another tremor shook, and Dot was thrown in.
Bob: DOT!!!!!!!
"Sis!" Matrix said. The Portal closed. "Where did she go?"
"Good question. Let's go to Phong." they sped off, heads hung low.
Bob: Dot's... gone!
***
"This is great! Our dumb computer is frozen!" John said.
Servo: (Mike) If we set it on fire, maybe it will melt.
"My thesis will never get done now!"
"Relax. Let's go to my house. Maybe my computer is working." Mike said.
Mike: No.
They started to get up, but then the computer made a weird sound, and something like a bubble appeared next to the computer.
"What the heck is that?" John said.
Crow: Good question.
Bob: Dot... Dot... Dot...
The bubble wavered, and Dot fell out.
Bob: Dot! She's the one who goes to the Userworld! Yay!
Mike: Yeah, okay.
The bubble disappeared.
Bob: (John) Did I pop it?
"Wha... where am I? Wait a nano... this isn't Mainframe!" Dot gasped.
Crow: Doesn't gasping require taking air in, therefore making impossible to speak?
Servo: Be quiet Crow.
"Nano? Mainframe? You okay?" Mike said.
***
Inside, Bob finished telling Phong the bad news.
Bob: What bad news?
"So she fell into a Portal? I must scan for this." Phong said.
Mike: Why scan for it when you know it happened?
He typed onto a console.
Servo: (Phong) This typewriter isn't working on this console! Maybe I need new ink...
"The last Portal led to... wait, no that can't be right."
Mike: It is.
"What Phong?" Matrix said.
"Child, the Portal led to... the Userworld!"
All except Bob: Gasp!
Bob: (sarcasticaly) Oh wow.
"This is bad. Very bad." Matrix said.
"Hey, that's my line." Bob said.
Crow: That's humor? Yuck.
Servo: You haven't been doing better.
***
Dot was slowly recovering in John's bed.
"What happened? Where is Mainframe? Where is this?" Dot said.
Bob: Why is everyone so stupid in this story?
Mike: Don't know, don't care.
"Well, you're in Midstown, New York." John said.
Crow: Midstown? What about Upstown and Downstown?
"Midstown? I don't recall a system of that name. Can you get me a drink? I'm low on energy."
"Energy? You need energy? We can get that." John said.
Bob: What? They need energy?
Mike: Yeah. Like you said, DUH!
"C cell or D cell?"
Servo: Since when does locking you up give you energy?
***
Mouse was confused. "Can you repeat that, sugah?"
Servo: Gasp! The accent!
"Mouse, we need you to hack into the Userworld." Bob said.
"Now how am ah supposed ta do that?"
Servo: Oh no! It happened again!
Bob: Look, some bad fic writers use accents, okay?
"I don't know. You're the hacker."
Bob: Stupidity alert! (runs around) Wee-oo!
Mike: I think you need some energy. Or something. Crow, take Bob to a better place.
Crow: Gladly. (pulls out a baseball bat)
Mike: No no. You know what I'm saying.
(Crow and Bob exit theater. Loud bonking is heard soon after)
(Mike sighs)
"Well, ah might as well give 'er a try." She pulled up to a console. "Sugah, what do ya want me to, anyway?"
Mike: (Bob) Hurt me.
"Get some video or audio transmissions."
"Okay, ah'll see what ah can do."
***
John and Mike watched Dot putting the batteries up to her body, getting the energy she needed. "Thank you."
"Now, you say you came from Mainframe?" John asked.
"Yes, I'd like you to get me back." Dot said.
"I can try." John said.
Servo: (John) But I won't succed.
"John! I found something!" Mike said.
Servo: (John) Is it that new chainsaw I ordered?
Mike: (John) Is it something that will change the plot?
Servo: (Mike) Yes! It is!
***
Mouse was typing away. "Ah think ah got somethin'!"
Servo: (Bob) Is it that new chainsaw I ordered?
Mike: (John) Is it something that will- hey we're starting that again!
"What Mouse?" Bob said. Matrix and Phong crowded around her.
Mike: Bob's a female?
Servo: That's disturbing.
"It's an audio file. Ah'll play it." She typed in a command. The speakers blared with the User's voice.
"JJJohnnnn! I founnnnnnd sommmmethingggg!" the voice said, pausing in spots.
Servo: (Mike) HHHeyyyy! Whhhhy ammmm IIII sttttutterrringggg???
"Can you get better quality, Mouse?" Bob said, excited. Phong put his hand on Bob's shoulder.
"Bob, do not forget User time is deacelarated." Phong said. "Mouse, you can try to speed the file."
Mike: Which won't work.
"Okay, sugah." She typed in another command. The voice came up again.
"John! I foundddd something!"
Servo: Remember? Everything usually works out in fanfics.
"Ah think I got it streaming, and ah'm playing it, now." the voice played out, pausing every once and a while.
"What Mike? John, something's happening with our computer. What is happening? Have you found Mainframe?"
Mike: And that was said by which one person?
Servo: Mouse did.
Mike: Um, you forgot about the accent.
"Dot!" Bob said.
***
"John, something just popped up on the computer. It was our sound recorder and..."Mike started to say.
Servo: (Mike) ...and it made a weird noise that sounded like somone talking a southern accent.
Mike: (Mike) ...and it exploded.
"Must be your imagination.
Mike: No.
Come on. We've got to help this girl who has amnesia or something." John said.
Servo: If she has amnesia, why does she remember where she came from and everything about her?
Mike: Beats me.
"Okay, okay." Mike said, walking out of the room.
***
"Mouse, can you get video?" Bob said.
Servo: (Mouse) Which one? An Indiana Jones movie?
Mike: (Bob) No, I'd like anything with food in it.
"Lemme see, sugah." Mouse typed up commands. "They don't seem ta have a video card."
Mike: (Mouse) They do seem to have a cheeseburger to go for $4.99, though.
"Cursors!" Bob said.
"Hold on! Ah've found out I can... communicate with the User!" Mouse said.
Mike: Haven't we known this for a while?
Servo: No.
"This is great! Mouse, tell them something that won't... startle them." Phong said.
Mike: I think anything they say will startle someone. If your computer just started to talk, would you be startled?
Servo: I don't have a computer.
Mike: Oh yeah.
"Well, why don't you? Ah'm putting the microphone on..."
Servo: I thought it was on.
Mike: No, that was John's microphone.
Servo: I think I understand that.
(Just then, Crow and Bob enter the theater and take their seats)
Bob: My head hurts...
Crow: I nice whack on the head brought him back to his old self.
Bob: Ow...
Crow: Have another ice pack.
***
Mike thought he heard a voice in the computer room. "Did you hear something?" he said.
Mike: No. I mean, yes.
"Yes. Oh no! Someone must have broken in!" John said, rushing into the computer room. When he got there, he heard a voice coming from the computer.
Servo: Okay, lemme guess at what happens next. Dot sees it is her friends, they make a portal, Dot comes home. End story.
"Hello? Are you there? We come in peace." the voice said.
Crow: (Mike) There are aliens in our computer!
"Um, hi." Mike said.
"Oh! You are there! Thank the U...
Mike: We thank the great U, and the V, and the X...
well thank you!"
"Well, um, who is this?"
"Oh, I cannot tell you. But, do you have a spri... er... is there someone named Dot there?"
"Yes. Hey, Dot? Someone is here to talk to you!" Mike yelled.
Servo: (Mike) And it sounds really important! So come here now! Maybe I'll just take care of it! Forget it!
"What is it?" Dot said.
"Dot!" the voice said.
"Phong!" Dot said.
"Phong?" Mike said.
Bob: Crow!
Mike: Servo!
Servo: Bob!
Crow: Jim Carrey?
Mike: Okay, that was not called for.
Crow: Bob? Mike? Servo? Crow?
***
"Dot! We are so glad to hear you!" Phong said.
"What happened? Where are you? Where am I?" Dot said.
Bob: (Dot) It sure isn't Kansas!
"Child, you are in Userworld."
"Userworld?"
"Yes. We are trying to find a way to get you back into Mainframe."
Servo: But we are having trouble, so call us in another 2 hours.
"I think I have an idea, Phong." Bob said.
Bob: Speaking of which, maybe someone could bring Dot back.
"What, child?" Phong said.
"Maybe one of us could go into Userworld and birng her back."
Bob: I was right!
Mike: It's sounding like you're writing this fic.
Bob: I hope that never happens.
"What??? Are you random???"
Bob: No!
Crow: Yes!
Bob: I think you are, Crow.
"No."
"But Bob, if we could send you into Userworld, we could then just create a portal and then Dot could come back much easier."
Servo: Well DUH!!!
"Yeah Bob, what are you saying?" Matrix said.
"Phong, Matrix, I want to see the Userworld. I want to see the User. I want to tell him what happens when he downloads Games and upgrades. Please Phong. I want to see Dot."
Bob: Since when was I that touchy?
Phong sighed. "Yes child. Mouse, can you generate a Portal to Userworld?"
Mike: No.
"Sugah, you're asking too much of me. I can't do three or four tasks at once."
Crow: (Mouse) Ah can do 5 or 6, though.
"Sorry. Can I have the microphone back? I need to tell Dot this."
"Sugah, you already did." Mouse said,
Servo: (Phong) What do you mean?? I know when I am right! I am the wise one! You are not! Ha ha!
pointing at the microphone light.
Crow: Look at the liiiiight....
It was green, and on.
Mike: Big whoop. It's on.
Bob: I'm starting to get the feeling you're not grasping the plot.
Mike: That took you a while.
Bob: I think we need to recuperate.
Servo: I agree.
Crow: Let's go.
(Everyone exits theater)
@... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6
(Back in the main room, Crow, Servo, Bob, and Mike are "recuperating.")
Mike: That plot is so hard to understand!
Bob: So is every other fanfic's.
(Something starts to drip from Bob's head. Crow and Servo snicker)
Bob: What?
Crow: (laughing) Your...hee-hee...ice-pak...hee-hee...is...is...hee-hee...LEAKING! (doubles over in laughter)
Servo: Yes! Yes! (also doubles over)
Bob: Oh. (takes the soggy icepak off his head)
Mike: Hee-hee.
Bob: What's so funny about that?
(Everyone but Bob is laughing hysterically, but stop when Megabyte shows up on a screen)
(Widowmaker)
Megabyte: It sounds like you are enjoying your fic. What a bad sign. Tsk tsk. Ms. Forrester will suffer from choosing this fic.
(SOL)
Crow: No... we were laughing at Bob's icepak melting on his head.
(Widowmaker)
Megabyte: Oh really? Well, if you think that's funny... (presses the "sprinkler" button)
(SOL)
Crow: My circuts!
Servo: My circuts!
Bob: This is bad.
(Widowmaker)
Megabyte: (while laughing evily) Yes! Yes! Bwa hah haha!
(Pearl passes by)
Pearl: Oh look, they're being... rained on. What's so funny about that?
(Megabyte doubles over in laughter, and rolls on the ground. He hits the "sprinkler off" button)
(SOL)
Crow: I knew it was funny.
Mike: Are your circuts okay?
Servo: I'm fine. And I'm feeling in a chess mood...
Crow: NOOOOOOOO! (bursts into flames)
Bob: Not again!
(At that moment, Megabyte turns the sprinklers back on)
Mike: Yes!
Bob: Crow's fire went out!
Servo: And I found an umbrella!
Crow: (coughs smoke) Thanks wheeze Megabyte! You cough saved us!
(Widowmaker)
Megabyte: WHAT??? No! This can''t be! I saved you! And you found an umbrella! Ooohhh... (closes link and walks off, grumbling)
(SOL)
Crow: Um Megabyte? You forgot to turn off the sprinklers. Megabyte? Hello? Um, help?
Servo: Scuba gear, anyone?
(Sirens blare and lights flash)
Mike: We've got movie siiiiign!!!
Bob: Saved by a fanfic!
Servo: Saved by a virus and a fanfic. What's next... I can't think of a witty remark.
6... 5... 4... 3... 2... @
That's all I have. May have more. Not sure. A_Einome Out.