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A_E: Well, here we are
with-
Matt: Wait... have you ever noticed that ad up there?
DOS: What ad?
Matt: This ad! Erg.. erf... hey, lift me up, will ya!
DOS: *sigh* Okay, there you go.
Matt: Just a little bit... further.... WAAAA!
CRASH!
Matt: This ad!
A_E: Oh! That one! Yes, wonderful how they sell useless products.
DOS: Let's get started, okay?
Matt: Yes! Let's!
ABCBS Productions present...
Matt: Oh! American
Broadcasting Company Broadcasting Service!
DOS and A_E: WHAT?
Matt: Eh, nothing... NOTHING! NOTHING AT ALL! ABSOLUTE-
DOS: Thank you.
A movie directed by Mark Corpulent...
Matt: Does corpulent mean
something?
A_E: Yes, it means fat.
Matt: FAT? HA HA!
DOS: Kill him. Now.
And it's called...
Matt: "Attack of the
Killer Zuchinni!"
A_E: Thank you.
Two Fat Guys on the Planet Zombie
DOS: Oh! Fat, Corpulent, I get it.
(A bunch of violins play)
A_E: Violins? Why
vilolins? Why not fiddles?
DOS: They're the same thing.
A_E: Oh. Right.
Some Words: Washington D.C. The White House.
Matt: Washington D.C....
that's where the President of the U-nited Seats of Americana,
right?
A_E: Close enough.
Matt: I won! I WON! WOWWWIE! HOWDY YIPPEE TAAAAAAIIIIII YA YAY!
DOS: That's it.
(DOS, in a motion that looks really cool, shoves Matt into the
fic)
President: (Who's a woman) So,
Tub, Real, you accept the mission?
Matt: Tub? Who's Tub? Whoa! My text size increased!
Awesome! I rule you guys!
DOS: I'm a girl.
Matt: Oh, right. Sorry.
Tub: Uh, sure.
Real: Yep! I hate zombies!
Matt: So do I. Wait, what are zombies?
A_E: They're undead who rise from the grave and go do bad things.
Matt: Wouldn't undead be living?
A_E: Please, not this argument. Please.
President: Good. Remember, the
zombies are approaching Earth soo fast...
Real: How fast is it?
DOS: The inevitable question... and then the inevitable answer.
President: Really fast.
Matt: That wasn't what I expected.
REALLY fast. Really fast. Really fast.
A_E: I don't think those were expected either.
REALLY...
A_E and DOS: FAST!
Matt: SLOW?
A_E and DOS: No, FAST!
Matt: Oh.
Tub: We get the point.
President: So, you each get a gun with 500 zaps of ammo, a big
spaceship, and food.
DOS: Food?
Matt: Well, they are fat.
Tub: We need that!
Real: Lots of it!
Matt: See? Just like I said.
DOS: That's it. You're
more annoying in a fic than out. (In another really cool
movement, she pulls Matt out of the fic)
Matt: Well, you didn't have to make it HURT!
President: Well, that's good, cause you're getting it!
Matt: I want some food...
Some Words: (They are put up letter by letter, really slow) L a t e r . . .
A_E: Oh, like a
typewriter.
Matt: I'll do that to DOS when I want to torture her!
DOS: Why would you torture me?
Besides, I'd get you first.
Matt: Uh-oh...
President: We salute you!
Real: That's great. Bye! *ZOOM*
DOS: That's not very nice!
President: Hey wait! What about my long boring speech to the masses?
DOS: Oh, I see why.
Masses: Yay!
President: I'll do it anyway.
DOS: That's not very nice,
either!
Matt: Miss Manners over here is-
(DOS slaps Matt)
Masses: Boo!
Matt: Ow! Boo! Stop with the hittings!
(Cut to a shot of "space". It's really just a big green and blue ball rolling away from a space ship.
A_E: They must have been on one heck of a low budget...
Now to the interior of the ship)
Matt: Okay! *BONK*
Tub: Captain's Log. Stardate..
um...
Real: August 4th.
Tub: August 4th.
DOS: I sense a movie rip-of here...
We have.. just-blasted-off... fromEarth. We-are... flying ve-ry-fast and... we-are doing f-ine.
Matt: HUH?
DOS: Is this guy gasping for breath?
Real: Huh?
Tub: I like Shatner.
Real: Oh.
Matt: Oh.
DOS: Oh.
Tub: Visual scanners report lots
of food nearby.
Real: Mmm! Wanna eat?
A_E: (Tub) Sure, even though it'll probably doom us.
Tub: Sure thing.
(They leave)
A_E: What do you think
will happen next?
Matt: The zombies will shoot them and kill them!
DOS: They'll get to fat to move.
A_E: I think... um... they'll crash into a planet.
(Just then, the light marked "Approaching enemy zombie warship XR-2Z190-10-10-321 and we're all gonna die" flashes)
(Everyone stares at this, and then start laughing at who funny it is)
Real: Do you hear something?
Matt: (bewtween giggles) (Tub) Um, no... except for that extremely important sounding alarm!
Tub: You mean the computer saying "Approaching enemy zombie warship XR-2Z190-10-10-321 and we're all gonna die"?
DOS: How did he remember all of that?
Real: Yep.
Tub: Nope.
Real: Okay then.
A_E: Any second now...
(They both double take)
A_E: Thought so!
Real & Tub: Approaching enemy zombie warship XR-2Z190-10-10-321 and we're all gonna die? AAAAAAAA!
(More laughing by all. NOTE: They are laughing because it is really really stupid. Thank you)
Real: Okay, calm down. Nothing to worry about. Don't panic.
Matt: Yeah right.
(Button marked "Panic" comes on)
(Once again, the laughing)
Real: Okay, now we can panic.
All: AAAAAAAAA!
(Panic ensues. Chaos ensues. Many
other bad things ensue)
Tub: The zombies are signaling us! Come Real, to the bat-bridge!
(I think you know what this says)
(Tub's face zooms in on the camera and back out with that music. You know. Like in Batman. *sigh*)
Matt: I knew that!
DOS: I did too!
A_E: I did three!
Zombie: (on screen) So, you have approached our zombie warship... oh I won't say it.
Matt: XR-2Z190-10-10-321!
A very stupid thing to do! Because now you are inside our warship, and we are taking you to Planet Zombie! Mwa ha ha!
Matt: DUM DUM DUMMMMM!!!!!
Real: Oh, greaaat...
Zombie: So, bye.
Tub: What should we do?
Real: Just sit here and wait.
Tub: Okay.
A_E: How boring.
DOS: You know, maybe I should put Matt back in the fic.
Matt: NO! NO NO NO! N-O NO!!!
DOS: Ok.
(Cut to a shot of "space" again. A different spaceship has a big gray ball rolling towards it)
DOS: I wonder who made
this movie?
A_E: Whoever "Mark Corpulent" is.
Tub: Okay, get ready. This could be ugly.
Matt: (hatch opens) (Tub) NO WAY! Forget what I said, these zombies are beautiful!
Real: Okay.
(Hatch opens)
Zombie: Hello. Please do not offend us in any way, or we will
hurt you.
Tub: Okay! Wow you're nice.
A_E: They are pretty nice.
Matt: Maybe I should go live with them.
Zombie: Thank you.
Real: Ooh! String! (picks it up)
Matt: String?
Zombie: AAAA! It is forbidden for visitors to pick up gruto!
Matt: Gruto?
Real: Gruto?
Zombie: You will be arrested!
(4,000 zombies appear)
DOS: Where did that come from?
Real: Um, uh-oh.
Zombie: Attack!
Matt: Bye Real, it's been real!
(All 4,001 zombies fire Pain Guns Patent 8,392,283.2,
(Laughing)
and some also carry Even More Pain Guns Patent pending)
(Laughing)
Real: AAA! *writhes* *screams* *writhes* *horrors*
A_E: They said writhes twice!
Tub: Real! REAL! (He turns to look at hte zombies, who are laughing. He narrows his eyes. He clenches his fist. Ooh, he's mad!)
All: DUH!
I DON' TINK SO!
Matt: What?
DOS: Who?
A_E: Oh.
DOS & Matt: WHAT?
Zombie: What?
Tub: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Matt: (Tub) I stepped on a nail! OWWW!
(He rolls like a bowling ball through the crowd of skinny zombies, knocking then down like bowling pins)
DOS: Wow.
Matt: Cool.
Real: Yay.. oo, my leg... Real to
Sick Bay...
Tub: You will never do that again!
A_E: How can you be so sure of that?
Zombie: Nope, cause our planet's gonna self-destruct in... (consults a watch) 4 minutes.
Matt: Uh-oh.
DOS: They'd better run.
Tub: Run! (Picks
Real up and runs)
Zombie: You'll never esacpe... alive! Ha ha ha!
A_E: Now that is corny.
(Cut to shot of interior of ship)
Tub: Come on! Let's break free!
Computer: Self-destruct in 10, 9, 8, 7, 5...
Real: 5? What happened to 6?
Computer: Just kidding!
Real: Grrr...
Matt: Wasn't that from another movie?
Computer: 5, 4, 3, 2...
Tub: We're not going to make it!
Computer: 1, 0.
Tub & Real: AAAAA!
Computer: Planet will self-destruct now. Have a nice day.
Tub & Real: Thanks!
Computer: You're welcome!
Matt: That too.
(Cut to a shot of "space". The spaceship is sitting there while I big flaming ball rolls away from it.
(Laughing)
It hits an offstage crew member)
DOS: Hits a crew member? HA HA HA!
Crew member: AAAA! My pants!!! Water! PUT IT OUT!
A_E: Oh, this is way too
stupid...
Some Words: L a t e r . . .
President: Here are your medals of bravery.
All: HOORAY!
Tub: Thanks.
Real: Will you marry me now?
President: NO! *slaps him*
DOS: You go girl!
Real: Ouch...
The End
Matt: Well, that's it.
Bye.
A_E: Wait! We still have the credits!
Matt: Aw man!
Credits
Tub O.
Lard..............................................................................................................Himself
Real E.
Fat................................................................................................................Himself
President......................................................................................................Tony
Jay's wife
Zombie
Leader.......................................................................................................Tony
Jay
4,000
zombies...............................................................................................CGI
Creations
Masses...........................................................................................................CGI
Creations
Computer......................................................................................Someone
Who We Forget
A_E: Tony Jay? That's
Megabyte.
Matt: Ha! They forgot someone!
Director
Mark Corpulent
Matt: FAT!
Producer
Mark Corpulent
Matt: FAT!
Crew
Mark Corpulent
Matt: F-
DOS: Don't you say it!
Tom "AAA! My pants!" Atkins
A_E: Oh yeah, that guy. Heh-heh...
Special Thanks
ABCBS
Sony
Matt: Sony?
Other People Who We Met in College
DOS: Uh-huh.
Blah blah blah
A_E: Well,
that's it... let's leave!
DOS: That was soooo stupid.
Matt: But it was funny stupid.
DOS: Whatever.
A_E: See you next time on MSLT3K!